Progress

This blanket has had many false starts. I started with a different pattern. Then I decided I didn’t like it. I picked this pattern. I love this pattern. It’s coming out nicely.

I really wanted to do something bigger than a scarf or a bag. I wanted something that required more time and effort. I got what I wanted. I repeated the same row at least 4 times. I became so frustrated I actually thought about quitting knitting all together. It is an easy pattern and I just couldn’t get it right.

Knitting is a lot like my life. I do not understand why I can’t get my life together. I follow the pattern. I count my steps. Then I end up ripping it all apart and starting over. Except now, just like in knitting, I’m a little frayed. I am tired of starting over. I’m tired of rebuilding what I just built. I’m tired of everything coming unraveled because I missed a step that I was unaware was there.

When I am knitting, I repeatedly look at the pattern. I always see things differently after I have looked at the pattern several times. In my life, everything is the same no matter how many times I inspect my life.  My life is the same. The pattern never changes for my life. It’s always the same.

I have been working on this pattern, in particularly, the first row of the pattern. The first time, I didn’t have enough stitches at the end of the pattern. Then I dropped a stitch. Somehow, I managed to get my lifeline  snagged in my stitches. I had to start over. The funny thing about lifelines is that they don’t work if you don’t use them correctly.

Life doesn’t have lifelines. You screw up that’s it. Be prepared to do a lot of work to fix any mistakes that may come your way. Dropping the ball in life means what ever you have been working for is gone. It doesn’t matter how many tricks you do, nothing will erase the mistake. The only thing that fixes a mistake is hard work and a long memory.

I finally finished the first row. I managed to complete two pattern repeats. Two. I look at what I accomplished so far and I am proud of the result. Knitting, unlike life, is always rewarding. Life kicks you when you are down. It chews you up and spits you. Knitting reminds you that hard work does pay off. It reminds you to keep going, the reward is just around the corner. Life reminds you that before you turn the corner you should duck. : P

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4 thoughts on “Progress

  1. I always find that when life is making me insane, I knit. And I knit a lot. Since moving to NY, I’ve knit more that I’ve ever knit. I believe it’s what kept me sane… it has a grounding affect on me.

    • I am doing the same. Things are really insane around here. Knitting lets me figure things out. I’m not sure i can fix what’s wrong in my life. I might just scrap all of my plans and start over.

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