Bag

Here’s a little dice bag I made. I changed the pattern a little bit. I only casted on 30 stitches and knitted 40 rows. It was for Colby’s toys so I didn’t need it that big.

I love making bags. I like how quick they knit up. I haven’t made any with a complicated pattern, yet. I love knitting with dpns. I like the rhythm of it. My favorite part of knitting a bag is closing it up.

I have very little closure in my life. My life is so crazy all the time. I feel like so many things get left undone. When I knit bags, it reminds me of all of the loose ends I have out there. I’m always running around trying to seal everything up. It never happens because the other people in my life tear it open or prevent me from finishing what I have started. It’s exhausting. I always feel like I’m failing because of it.

Knitting a bag allows me to tie those knit ends up. My life may always be in disarray but knitting allows me to have that sense of closure. I can slowly close up those ends I’ve left behind. So far no one has come behind me and unknitted what I closed up.

My life will probably never close up nice and tight like my knitting. I will have to figure out ways around that. At least with knitting, I can feel like I’m doing something constructive, even if it just benefits my psyche.

Spending

I have been avoiding my paper by shopping for yarn.  I want to make a cardigan. The pattern says you need a light weight or lace wieght yarn. My LYS isn’t very far but I don’t have a car. I’m going to visit there befoe I buy yarn online.

I have my eye on Aloft from Knitpicks. It looks soft enough to make a beautiful cardigan. I just want to buy a roll to run my fingers over it.

The other yarn I was looking at was Universal Yarn Star Light from Webs. This one is sparkly. The only issue with this yarn is it has a limited amount available.

My biggest hurdle is buying enough yarn to make the cardigan. It would cost $25 or so to buy the Aloft and $30 or so to buy the Universal. It doesn’t seem like a lot to spend but I don’t spend that much on the clothes I buy for myself. It would mean I would have to rationalize spending money on myself to make something I like. It’s really hard to do that when I know how much needs to be done in this house.
 
I start my new job tomorrow. It would be really nice to buy the Aloft because it looks so soft. I think I would really enjoy knitting with it. We’ll see what I decide. Maybe something at the LYS will catch my eye.

Yarn

Yarn makes me happy. This is my small stash. Not sure what it will end up being but I’m sure I’ll figure it out.  I can’t wait until my paychecks in so I can buy that yarn I saw the other day. It’s so pretty. 🙂 I want to make a cardigan out of it.

 

Progress

This blanket has had many false starts. I started with a different pattern. Then I decided I didn’t like it. I picked this pattern. I love this pattern. It’s coming out nicely.

I really wanted to do something bigger than a scarf or a bag. I wanted something that required more time and effort. I got what I wanted. I repeated the same row at least 4 times. I became so frustrated I actually thought about quitting knitting all together. It is an easy pattern and I just couldn’t get it right.

Knitting is a lot like my life. I do not understand why I can’t get my life together. I follow the pattern. I count my steps. Then I end up ripping it all apart and starting over. Except now, just like in knitting, I’m a little frayed. I am tired of starting over. I’m tired of rebuilding what I just built. I’m tired of everything coming unraveled because I missed a step that I was unaware was there.

When I am knitting, I repeatedly look at the pattern. I always see things differently after I have looked at the pattern several times. In my life, everything is the same no matter how many times I inspect my life.  My life is the same. The pattern never changes for my life. It’s always the same.

I have been working on this pattern, in particularly, the first row of the pattern. The first time, I didn’t have enough stitches at the end of the pattern. Then I dropped a stitch. Somehow, I managed to get my lifeline  snagged in my stitches. I had to start over. The funny thing about lifelines is that they don’t work if you don’t use them correctly.

Life doesn’t have lifelines. You screw up that’s it. Be prepared to do a lot of work to fix any mistakes that may come your way. Dropping the ball in life means what ever you have been working for is gone. It doesn’t matter how many tricks you do, nothing will erase the mistake. The only thing that fixes a mistake is hard work and a long memory.

I finally finished the first row. I managed to complete two pattern repeats. Two. I look at what I accomplished so far and I am proud of the result. Knitting, unlike life, is always rewarding. Life kicks you when you are down. It chews you up and spits you. Knitting reminds you that hard work does pay off. It reminds you to keep going, the reward is just around the corner. Life reminds you that before you turn the corner you should duck. : P

Patience

                                  

I had the bright idea to knit a baby blanket for one of my clients. Last night, I spent 3 hours knitting one row. I couldn’t get it right to save my life. I learned how to put a lifeline in. I also learned that some patterns require stitch markers. Your eyes start to go buggy after a few hours of staring at the same thing.

Knitting teaches you patience. We spend most of our lives rushing through to complete our tasks. When you are knitting you cannot rush. If you rush, you make mistakes and have to start again. Knitting requires you to slow down, take a breath, and think about what you are doing. This is a great lesson to apply to our every day lives. Slow down. Take in the moment and digest what you are doing.

I do have hours of homework to do. I have no interest to sit and learn statistics when I can sit still and knit. When I knit my mind clears and I can focus. I can slow down for a quick second and be with my yarn. When I study, I am rushed. I have to learn everything quickly. I’m not really sure I am actually learning anything. School makes my brain foggy and tired. It’s such a contrast to who I want to be.