You Know How to Knit???

This is a common response when I tell people I knit. They usually have a smirk on their face and end with a comment about grandmas knitting.

For me though, I started to ease my anxieties waiting to hear if I was accepted into grad school. It was a distraction at first. It quickly has grown into something much more.

Three years ago, I decided to go to college for Speech Language Pathology. (Another term that caused eye glazing over syndrome.) I worked hard and did the best I could do. In August of last year, I started the process of applying to grad school. I was fine at first. Then shortly after Christmas I started to come undone. Little things started to really cause me to freak out, like a two hour shift at my crappy job. By February, I couldn’t sleep. People were receiving acceptance letters. I didn’t hear anything. Some people were denied. I didn’t hear anything. I spent most of my time unfocused and scared of my impending rejection.

One day, I skipped my math class and went to JoAnne fabrics. I bought knitting needles and yarn. I spent the next 8 hours or so casting on. It was so relaxing. I didn’t think about school. I just counted and counted and counted. The seed was planted.

I received three rejection letters in late April. I knitted my way through the sadness of losing my dream. I spent my time counting and wrapping and looking at endless patterns on Ravelry.

Knitting has helped me cope with the disappointments throughout the previous months. It has allowed me to clear my head so I can begin again.

A few weeks ago, I was put on a waitlist for grad school. Once again I’m waiting and nerve-racked. Instead of eating like crazy I’m going to knit. I’m hoping this will be a place I can work through those anxieties with my knitting.

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